Book
review by Carol Allen
"Alan or Allen Smithee",
as film buffs will know, is the pseudonym used by Hollywood
film directors, who want to be dissociated from a film
which they feel has been taken away from their personal
creative control and for which they therefore no longer
want credit. By adopting a version of it here, the writer
of the book is not only making a bit of an industry in
joke but, as he has also worked in the British film industry
for some fifteen years, is protecting himself. Were I to
reveal his true name, he'd not only never eat lunch in
this town again, he'd probably never get another job in
the business! Particularly as I suspect he may have actually
worked on some of the 101 movies he names and shames here.
The premise of the book is that the
industry has a tendency to be affected by "Emperor's New Clothes" syndrome
and that we critics, blinded by the big name directors or
stars in a film, sometimes get behind films that we shouldn't.
It is, the author says in the foreword, "a collection
of movies that people (especially those damned critics) have
told you are really, really good.........and then you find
you've wasted two hours of you important time". Preceded
by quotes from some of those reviews, "Smithee" then
goes on to give his reasons why he thinks they are stinkers
or at least wildly overrated.
Many of the films "Smithee" castigates
are ones that I personally have praised and enjoyed.
Chariots of Fire - "'The British are coming', proclaimed
writer Colin Welland. Well they obviously run out of petrol
if this rather tame offering is anything to go by".
Sorry Allan, I did love it at the time though I might perhaps
have been a teensy bit blinded by patriotism.
24 Hour Party People - "(The film) believes that everyone
watching will instantly recognise the songs, the bands and
the 'ever so famous' incidents in the life of an obscure
regional television presenter". Actually Allan, I didn't
recognise any of them. By the 80s, when the film is set,
I'd largely lost interest in the scene, but I enjoyed the
film for Steve Coogan's very entertaining performance as
Tony Wilson, of whom I'd never heard before the movie!
The Aviator - "A shallow and linear tale that lacks
focus and pizzazz". Well it held my attention for what
Smithee describes as "three bum numbing hours" and
it does have a truly spectacular plane crash.
The Crying Game - "The girl's got a dick.....I've just
saved you two hours of your life". Come on Allan, there's
a bit more to it than that! But then I had no idea when I
first saw it that Jaye Davison was a bloke. He does make
a very beautiful girl and Neil Jordan's film is both a touching
love story and a good thriller.
There are times however when I am either forced to agree
with Smithee or at least admit he has a point:
2001 A Space Odyssey - "No story, no theme, no plot
and no good". To be honest, when I first saw it as a
young woman I too thought it was much ado about nothing.
But I reconsidered my view when it was re-released a few
years back and I'd caught up with Kubrick.
Mulholland Drive - "Not only did I not know what the
second half was about. I didn't care". OK I'll admit
it was a bit baffling. I think the answer may have been something
to do with that box! But Smithee admits to liking the first
half and it was the film that introduced the lovely Naomi
Watts to a wider audience.
Ice Age - "Following a formula with little deviation
or imagination shown". I agree - but the kids I took
to it loved it.
Saturday Night Fever - "simplistic, predictable and
childish - would have been laughed off the screen if it hadn't
been for the music and the timing". You have a point
Allan - it certainly doesn't stand up today, but it was fun
at the time and worth seeing for the then cool dance moves.
Well there are 93 more in the book
for you to argue about with friends and family, it's a
fun read and certainly makes a change from the usual movie
books that get passed around as presents. It also gives
you a new party game in terms of naming your own most overrated
movies. And "Allan" isn't
totally negative by any means. At the end of the book there's
his top ten list of films he considers underrated. They include
the very funny Australian movie "The Castle" -
well, I gave it a good review at the time; Bill Forsyth's
1983 film "Local Hero" (ditto) and Matthew McConaughy
adventuring in Africa in "Sahara". I seem to remember
enjoying that one too, but he's right, it didn't get great
reviews.
"101 Movies To Avoid" by Allan Smithee, published
by Cyan at £10.00
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