Dir. Joe Carnahan, USA , 118mins, 2010
Cast: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel
Review by Matthew Rodgers
The A-Team was one of the most cheesy, camp, and downright OTT shows in TV history, and the visual diet of many a childhood. A few of those reading this will have concocted their own kiddy covert operations using action figures and replica black van with signature red stripe, and will probably have come up with a more enjoyable premise than this garish, loud, two hour assault on the senses. Is that harsh considering the brainless nature of the source material? Perhaps. But this is a series of sound bites and quips broken up by some tedious action set-pieces and something of a plan that never really comes together.
The story drops us straight into a rushed meet-the-gang mission that adds very little to the concept of “team”, (these guys are meant to have a bond. Are we just to assume this from a built in knowledge of George Peppard and co.?). But it works as a neat narrative device. We have a fresh from prison Hannibal (Liam Neeson), the similarly incarcerated B.A. Baracus (Quiton “Rampage” Jackson), nuthouse resident Murdock (Sharlto Copley), and Templeton “Face” Peck (Bradley Cooper), who is currently facing death by tyre fire and is the focus of the rescue mission that will unite this new incarnation of The A-Team.
Then before you can say “fool”, which is incidentally the only word you can ever make out from Jackson 's inaudible mumbling, its eight years later and our heroes are in Iraq and being framed for a crime they didn't commit. Ooooooooooh - Topical!
Seemingly working from the Michael Bay book of action movie making, and now so far from the gritty effectiveness of Narc that his imprint is unrecognisable, director Joe Carnahan piles on the CG to Charlie's Angels levels of stupidity. The tank sequence seen in the trailer is even more ridiculous in the context of the actual movie; vehicular chases are indistinguishable from every other car or helicopter pursuit you've ever seen and the finale will have your eyes rolling. It's spectacle for the teenage boys in the audience and no matter how grand or expensive it all looks, there is no avoiding the fact that it's uninspired bloat.
So it really is down to the A-Team to “rescue” this movie. Neeson is perhaps the biggest surprise, bringing a gravitas to the Colonel and revealing a knowing twinkle in the eye, whilst Bradley Cooper gets to smarm and shout (a lot) - his way of stealing the film's funniest lines. The aforementioned Rampage does little more than a poor im press ion of Mr T's iconic plane dodger, but perhaps the biggest disappointment is District 9 's Copley, who is consigned to playing the fool to such a one-dimensional extent that he is asked to do a Braveheart j oke. Is this still the 90's?
It's difficult to know where to assign blame. Michael Mann attempted to go serious with another adaptation of a TV show and while the critics lauded Miami Vice, the film was a box office disappointment. Carnahan's A-Team operates at the other end of the spectrum and despite a few peaks of excitement, ends up as a vacuous, soulless reminder that some things are best left in the past.
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