Dir. Alan Poul, 106mins, USA , 2010
Cast: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Anthony Anderson, Michaela Watkins
Review by Matthew Rodgers
Jenny from the block, or J-LO, has been absent from the multiplexes for half a decade. Some may say that she should have stayed “on the block” if all she has to offer is cinematic tripe like The Wedding Planner and Angel Eyes . The more forgiving of us might though think back to the sultry brilliance of Out of Sight and her debut turn in Oliver Stone's U-Turn . So there is a modicum of excitement in seeing which Lopez has decided to show up on this occasion, unless that is you've seen the hideous poster, which lets you know in no uncertain terms that we are in for another formulaic J-LO Rom-com.
Zoe (Lopez) has never found the perfect man, and by perfect she means one that's worthy of impregnating her. Worried that her biological clock is ticking down to zero, she resorts to artificial insemination in order to become a mother. Shortly after the procedure is complete she “hilariously” bumps into handsome cheese farmer (yes, you read that correctly) Stan (O'Loughlin), and their apparent chemistry causes our expecting mother to fret over whether to tell him or not and how will he react? Oh, who cares?
There is only one reason why this film exists and that's its Latino poster girl, so it's only fair that a share of the blame rests squarely on her shoulders. So far from her initial career promise, this is a performance of cartoonish prissiness that irks from the initial insipid voiceovers (that quickly vanishes as a narrative device) through to the cloying finale.
In fact none of the characters' dilemmas carry any real weight. O'Loughlin as the six packed fancy man frets over whether he can afford to raise children but never once does he take a look around at the hundred acre farm that he lives on. These people have no grasp of reality.
The Back-Up Plan is the type of romantic comedy that thinks you can substitute a pop-music montage for genuine emotion, and crudity for comedy. When the big laugh revolves around faecal matter you know you're in trouble. There is also a hugely misjudged water birthing sequence that is so over-the-top and downright creepy that it wouldn't have looked out of place in Rosemary's Baby .
I am unable to award this no marks, so look no further than the paraplegic dog of epically cute proportions that acts everyone off the screen to be the deserved recipient of the sole star. And as for J-Lo, I even preferred her in the universally panned Gigli (2003) to this.
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