Dir.
Nicholas Mastandrea, Germany/South Africa/USA, 86mins
Cast: Michelle Rodriguez, Oliver Hudson, Taryn Manning, Eric
Lively, Hill Harper
Review by Matthew Rodgers
If there was ever
a hint that a horror film was going to be a mongrel of
a movie then surely the prefix “Wes
Craven Presents” is the biggest indicator. Wishmaster
and Dracula 2000 are enough to give anybody the chills but
let’s not be too hasty in putting this one outside
for the night.
With the back of a stamp premise of
a group of cardboard cut-out, thirty-something actors playing
college graduate teens taking a break on a seemingly deserted
island that one of the characters conveniently remembers
halfway through the movie “used to be home to dogs, that kinda, might
have had rabies”. It’s almost so bad that it’s
borderline genius.
None of the actors are worth mentioning, the only star is
Michelle Rodriguez of Lost and The Fast and The Furious fame
whose sole purpose is to wear as little as possible and avoid
the splinters from the rest of the z-list ensemble.
Saying that, the ineptitude of the
performances can also be viewed as a huge plus point, despite
the post-modern saturation of the genre through the likes
of Scream and the terrible Scary movie quadrilogy The Breed
elicits a feeling similar to that of some of the great
stalk and slash movies of the 70’s, most notably Jason Vorhee’s
Camp Crystal Lake splatterfests in the Friday the 13th
franchise. The POV shots as the camera skulks through the
woods, the ludicrous decisions made by the protagonists
in peril, the fact that the black character is the first
to die, and even the location hark back to the simpler
times of the genre when such films would be watched with
a few beers on a Saturday night. This is not excusing what
is a terrible movie but it is endorsing an experience that
is incredibly funny for all the wrong reasons.
Point of note would be a set-piece
that would rival any for sidesplitting results in which
one of our heroes, attempting to rescue the aqua plane
that is floating away after those pesky dogs have chewed
through the rope, is pursued through the water by two Alsatians
doing a doggy paddle at a snails pace accompanied by over
sincere dramatic music. The Breed doesn’t play anything
tongue in check and the film makers seem convinced that
they are making an accomplished frightener.
The limited scares are only effective
if you suffer from Cynophobia - from the Greek “kyon” (Dog) and “phobos” (Fear) – because
the canine beasts are more cute than Cujo, lining the island
with terrifying/adorable stares and raspberry sauce stained
fur.
Definitely not a blue ribbon winner
at crufts but deserving of at least two Bonio’s for
the misplaced effort, The Breed truly is a dog of a movie.
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