Dir. Richard Donner, 2003, USA, 116 mins
Cast:
Anne Friel, Paul Walker, Gerard Butler, Frances O'Conner, Billy Connolly, David Thewlis
Michael Crichton's boys-own adventure about archaeologists travelling back to 14th century France to rescue their professor gets the big screen treatment from Lethal Weapon director Richard Donner. The release of the movie was put back several times and on reflection it's easy to see why. Donner and the atrocious screenplay dumb Crichton's intricate science-based fiction down so far that a five-year-old will feel patronized. Spielberg gave us Jurassic Park. Jan De Bont gave us Twister. Donner gives us the National Lampoon version of Timeline. Walker is totally miscast as Connelly's son, and it's left to Butler to fill the standard hero role. He has the screen presence to just about pull it off but the script pulls the rug out from under him with line after line of cringe-worthy dialogue: "My ear! My ear! It's me!" O'Conner suffers the same fate and, indeed, the entire cast seem to be phoning in their performances. Perhaps Donner was attempting a more relaxed approach with his actors, but he ends up with totally cardboard characters who, despite being scientists and archaeologists, are completely thick. "Are you telling me you built a fax machine that sends people back in time?" one man gawps. And you thought the BBC was dumbing down. Donner dismisses almost all historical accuracy and common sense (one minute French Friel can't understand Butler, the next she's speaking fluent English) and what we're left with is a crash-bang popcorn movie for twelve-year-olds with low attention spans. This would be all well and good, but all the battles and explosions in the world don't register unless you have believable characters you can root for. Friel perhaps comes off the best, speaking mostly in French to avoid her lines sounding as unintentionally funny as everyone elses, and her moment with Butler in the river is the only dramatic scene with any real resonance. Note to filmmakers: it's also the only scene with no running or shouting. The second half of the movie admittedly picks up with a good old-fashioned battle using hardly any CGI, but it's a case of too little too late. Overall this is a wasted opportunity for all concerned (it was tipped early on as one of the major blockbusters last summer, but was then snuck in for a Winter release when people realised it was a dud). To be fair though, if you're looking for a brainless Saturday night rental (shame on you) then you might enjoy Timeline after you've had a few . If your IQ is above fifty however, I'd recommend reading the book just so you can slap your forehead with your palm and curse Hollywood for ruining such a great premise. Tom Ramsbottom |
